What Others Think
Are you living your life the way you thought you would be? Or are you living it based on fear and worry about what other’s think?
For YEARS, I means, most of my life, I was always so worried about what others thought. What would my parents think? What would my friends think? What would my coworkers think? What would my spouse think?
Do you realize just how stressful and unnecessary worrying about what they think is? And the bigger question is, do you think that those kind of choices you make, always thinking about what other’s will think, will lead to happiness?
There are a couple big topics we are going to tackle here.
- What would happen if we didn’t care what others think?
- What made us care so much about other’s opinions?
- Whose opinion actually matters in your life?
- What could happen if we made our choices and said FU to other’s opinions?
Now, I am going to ask you to dig deep, truly think, and actually answer these questions out loud or on a piece of paper.
What would happen if we didn’t care?
What would happen if we didn’t focus on what others think?
- Would they unfriend us?
- Be disappointed in us?
- Disown us?
- How bad would it truly be?
Truly, how bad will it be? If they decide to talk to you less because of something they don’t agree with, you probably don’t need that negativity in your life.
People that truly care will talk to you about it. They will come to you and talk to you about their opinion. They will have the decency to talk to you like a normal person and address any worry. At that point you can tell them why you are doing it and just ask that they still be there for you even if they don’t agree.
Guess what the world won’t end and you will end up much happier living the life you wanted and the life that you choose.
Why do we care what they think?
We are going to get deep into this and analyze it. Ask yourself. Why truly do you care what they think?
Start with one person, let’s pick your mom and a situation they wouldn’t approve of. Truly if you did something crazy, like colored your hair purple and your mom didn’t approve. Why do you care what she thinks?
Is it because you don’t want her to disapprove? But that isn’t enough, peel it back further, way do you care if she disapproves?
- Is it because her opinion is more important than you trying out something you have always wanted to do?
- Is it because she is your best friend? We will discuss whose opinions actually matter later on.
- Or is it because her opinion gives you your sense of self-worth?
- Or because you feel like you need someone to approve of you because you don’t have enough confidence in your self?
- Or is it because you crave that confirmation of your life from someone?
Whose opinion actually matters in your life?
For me, for a long time I was always chasing that next moment in which people felt proud of me or getting next compliment, because I felt like they were so rare (and also because my love language is words of affirmation, check out more on that in this book!). I have made so many choices in my life hoping that people would tell me they are proud of me or be amazed at what I had accomplished. How sad is that?
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But over the past couple years I have really stopped doing what others told me to do, and it wasn’t till the last year when I realized why does it matter? Why does what my parents think of me make me feel better or worse about myself?
Yes, I love my parents and usually value their opinion. But when it comes to how I am running my life and the decisions I am making, I am not letting anyone make me feel bad about my life choices. They don’t get to make those decisions. I do. It’s my life.
I get it, family is extremely important, but your family needs to be there for you. There are plenty of time’s that my family doesn’t agree with what I am doing. They sure will make their opinion known, but guess what, even if they don’t agree with me, they still support me. They still will be there when I need help. Because that’s what good people do.
They have every right to let us know their opinion, because good friends should tell you what they think. It’s always good to get opinions from people that you care about and trust. But whether or not their opinion actually matters and should actually affect your decision, is the big question.
You want to know whose opinion actually matters in your life? Those people in your life that are always there for you. Only those who will always be there for you and who will always be your cheerleader. The ones who are always cheering you on. The ones that will support you even if you think selling dirt is going to be a great idea. The ones who support you no matter what, even if they don’t agree with you. That’s whose opinions matter.
The scary part is that a lot of don’t have many of those. Heck, even my husband doesn’t fall into the kinda person that will always support me, but that’s ok. He is still there for me. But that’s one reason that his opinion isn’t one that I always take to heart.
Or what could happen?
What could happen if we stop caring what others think?
What if we try something we never tried before and enjoyed it?
What if we decided to radically change something about our looks?
What if we take on a new business adventure and it succeeds?
Why would you let someone’s opinion stop you from accomplishing your dreams? YOU ARE FREE TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES ABOUT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE! If you end up unhappy, are you going to blame someone else for it when you had the right to make your own decisions the entire time?
Are you not in the job field you want? Did you marry the wrong person?
Did you make a choice that you wish you hadn’t because you wanted someone to be proud of you? Or because someone told you had to live your life a certain way?
STOP LISTENING TO THE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU!! If you want to shave your head, do it. If you want to start your own business, do it. If you want to go sky diving, do it.
Whose life are you living? The one you chose? Or the one other’s chose for you because of their opinions?
Great blog! Caring what people think about you is no way to live life, before you care what other people think it starts with you and how you see yourself. Me personally I never care what others think and that sometimes makes people mad. How sample would the world be if everybody just mind there on business?
Thanks! To some people it comes naturally and to others like me, we have to work at it daily!
Thanks for sharing!
I was like this before. I always strived to make others have this notion of me that I’m good at what I do, to the point that I focus too much on that, and lose sight of what I’m really doing. This kind of thinking will kill your confidence. Now, I don’t care what others think, I strive to be my own man, and in doing so, kept my focus and regained my life back.
I am glad that you are able to focus on you!!
Hi Jennifer and thank you for an excellent article about an important aspect of life. I am thinking like this; how can you love others, if you do not love yourself or being comfortable with yourself? Too many people are living other people’s lives because they think they have to do things in a certain way, instead of making their own decisions. The idea of coming out of your own comfort zone and stand up for what you believe in is scary for a lot of people.
I try not to care too much of what others think about me or what I do. I work on this every day, both at home and at work. I am an instructor in my karate club, and I see this topic clearly when I am training the beginners. They try to do what they think they have to do in order not to stand out from the others. My primary task is to learn them not to care what all the others in the club mean or do, but develop your self -confidence and youre own potential both physically and mentally.
And after a long life I am really beginning to get the hang of it myself, even if it has taken some time.
Thank you so much for such an in depth comment. I know others will learn from some of the wise words you have added!
What would people think? The preceeding phrase has killed more dreams than death, most time we get entangle with what others think and not realizing what we want Is very important and also forgetting the fact that we came to this world alone and would leave alone, though its good to seek people’s opinion, but when we are scared to take decision because of what people will think then we’re in a prison we need to break out from.
That’s exactly it! It is such a difficult way to live our lives!
Heloo Dear, I must say this is really insightful and informative. I really enjoyed seeing this article on what others think. It’s a true fact that majority of us live our lives according to what other people say or feel which has either a good or bad advantages, but I think has more of bad advantages. Sonits really advisable for one not to always consider what people think or say because it might actually stand as a blockage to one’s breakthrough. living one’s life based on fear and worry about what other’s think is very dangerous…
Perfect response! Glad you enjoyed this article!
awesome review i must say, trust me, when you think about what people have in mind for your and base your decisions on that you will only be delaying your success in life, you should never consider other people as option for basing your decision cos you are not living your life for anyone but yourself…
thanks fro the intriguing review, i look forward to sharing it
For some it’s easy, for other’s they have to work at it daily!