Self-esteem has never been a friend of mine. I always felt too fat, my forehead too big, my skin too pimply, even questioned my actions because nothing I ever did was validated as good. The list goes on and on. I always felt compared to others, and I was. I was always compared to others around me and still continue to be.
It was a really tough part of my life. Hearing someone call you out on things that you are already insecure about is soul crushing. Especially when it’s people you love and care about. Especially when you are young.
How do you stop caring what they think?
How do you heal yourself from those wounds?
How do you realize that you are bigger than those words that are now embedded in you from hearing them over and over?
#1 – Get those people away from you. Move. See them less often. Until you have the strength to confront or counter their words, don’t be around them.
#2 – Educate yourself. Read books. Listen to podcasts. Read articles. Some of the ones that really helped me were, The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck and The Road Back to You. Honestly, learning about yourself and why you are the way you are, will give you more confidence in yourself. It also helped me realize why I am the way I am.
#3 – Spend time with yourself. Truly spend time with yourself. Write your thoughts down. Meditate. Think about what about yourself you don’t like and think about the real reason behind why.
– Why don’t you like your huge forehead? Because society says we should have small foreheads Fuck society. We are allowed to have whatever forehead we are born with.
– Don’t like your double chin? Why not? Millions of people have double chins. It’s not a crime. Who told you that there is something wrong with your double chin? You? Society. Again, fuck society. And if it was you that said that, why? Because it means you are unhealthy? Then do something about it. It’s your gorgeous body. Do what you want to do with it. I don’t like my double chin, so I am slowly working on it, but I am giving myself grace and understanding. I don’t give a fuck what other people think about my double chin anymore. It’s only about what you think about it.
#4 – Shut down the doubts & the haters
– When you have a negative thought, shut it down, delete, erase. You are amazing.
– When someone says some negative, block that shit. Delete it. Get it out of your mind. And if you are still thinking about it, talk to a friend, a real friend and get your mind right.
#5 – Learn to defend yourself. I have this sister-in-law. She is the biggest cheerleader for people she cares about. If she doesn’t agree with you she will tell you real quick! But it’s the way she champions those she cares about.
Whenever I am struggling with something negative someone says, or even if it’s just a situation I am telling her, she helps me see the harm that the person was truly intending and she shuts that shit down fast. She helps me realize that I am amazing and gives me the strength and words to defend myself. I never truly new what it meant to defend myself till she came into my life.
You CAN get past this
The past two years have been a lot of learning for me.
I am falling in love with myself. And not in an obsessed with myself kinda way. But I am finally starting to appreciate my big forehead, my cute nose, this hair that has always been so thick and heavy.
So here I am. A pic without any editing, without beauty filters and with just the lighting filters of Insta. And I am finally starting to feel like I am beautiful.
Thanks for subscribing! Remember, you can always email me and let's chat about mom life, wine life, work, or whatever! Jennifer@JenniferSleider.com